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I always say Progress not Perfection, well I seem to be living that as of late. As many of you might know I started back into my quest to get back into running around Memorial Day. In an effort to do this I started back to training in the morning. Primarily I do a boot camp style work out that is here in Texas and some other southern states called Camp Gladiator. Part of our workout includes weights, body weights and some running. It’s just enough to get me moving again without trying to run without stopping. I’m happy to say I’m up to about 400 meters (1/4 mile) without stopping.

I’ve been doing this pretty consistently for about 4-5 days a week. Many people have said they see a difference, but I just bought bigger shirts. Now, before you go commenting about muscle verses fat and how it’s about how your clothes fit… my clothes still don’t fit. My weight and even % of body fat have not changed…. UNTIL YESTERDAY!!! After 8 weeks I saw the percent of fat finally move. The reason why I decided to write about this isn’t for praise or to start preaching about being patient. I wanted to discuss why we don’t keep doing the things that bring us happiness.

About 5 years ago I was in the best shape of my life. I was 47 (yes the best shape of my life was at 47 years old) I was working in a job I loved and working a side gig helping people get healthy. But after 3 years of hard work and dedication I just stopped.
I stopped working out in the mornings; I stopped eating as well; I started spending money on credit cards, sleeping in on Saturdays to mid morning; started taking long naps and my home became disorganized and cluttered. Suddenly I couldn’t find things and felt out of control, but I didn’t realize it. Looking back it felt normal, like I was flipping the bird to the world. “I don’t need discipline, organization and structure, I’m a free spirit, I’ll show you!”. But I was wrong and last Sunday it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I realized that discipline, organization and not being weighed down by debt are signs of self love!

My lack of care for my health was like a pebble rolling down a snowy incline. It picked up debt, clutter, apathy at work, even this blog has taken a back seat to my lazy “I’ll do it later after my nap” attitude. My joy in helping others and feeling strong and empowered wasn’t gone it was just under layers of snow or in my case fat. Now I’m not saying fat = unhappy. I have lots of friends who would be considered obese who are strong, happy, debt free and live a life any of us would envy! I’m saying for me I have been hiding my fear of living the best life I can under my weight.

What is your best life? Well obviously it’s different for everyone, but I believe I started to care what other people thought. Going to running events and having to debate with runners about supplements, or working out and not just running became exhausting. Working 60-70 hours a week and not getting credit or pay at work, no matter how much I loved it, made me feel unappreciated. Getting up early to run with people that left me behind as they got faster was defeating. I feel like I let others put water in my boat!!

Well, no more. I have taken the first step to getting clear. The working out 4-5 times a week is becoming a habit. My husband and I are building a new house so we are committed to being debt free (other than the house) and it’s having a positive affect on my weight (we aren’t eating out) and my mood because the burden of debt is gone and I’m feeling in control of my finances again. Work finally gave me the title and pay I feel I deserve so now it’s time to get moving and prove I am the type of person who should have that job and those responsibilities! And finally, I’m blogging and working with like minded people and talking about fitness and running. I’m super excited to partner with a great coach and build better content and online resources that can help runners with information, gear and training plans. Look for more emails, videos and resources to come.

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